how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
