A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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