Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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