his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
