he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
