Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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