EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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