I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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