Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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