If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
