He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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