if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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