Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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