belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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