Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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