All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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