so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
