We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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