On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
