My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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