You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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