I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
