I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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