Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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