like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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