Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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