Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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