So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
