So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
