This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
