hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize