You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
we're so committed to being not committed
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