singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Did you just see the Batmobile???
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
