Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize