Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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