dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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