I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I touched a dick in church today
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
