If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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