I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
