hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
