i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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