I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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