He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
