Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
