Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
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We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
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THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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