Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
