Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
