We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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