You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
