But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
