one two three fourrrrnication!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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