how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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