So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
