do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
