dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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