Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Ladies don't puke and tell
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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