Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
