So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
