He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
