FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
