remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
