We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize