I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
