his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
