The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
